Make Amends

Resilient I am:
The moving hands on the wall have picked me up from my slouch
I have shed the fleas, and jumped the fence
I am no longer chasing my tail in a circle
I feel much more mature now, after it all
The transition from heartache to a new myself was hard at first
Now, my vision of hope repaired at last
And not only am I capable of moving on, I can move up
In life, I am no longer near the floor of this ocean
I am floating faster to the skies and she has let go of my foot
The anchor has been cut away and I can progress how I used to
I'll never find out if I can reach the surface of stability, because
My situation is like an overcast of gray skies that evoke the rain
And the rain raises the water level: my plight
At least the water washes away my wounds to relieve my troubles
I have the tendency to ask for more air than I should
Now that she's nowhere close, I can have all of that I want
But what good is it having all of this air, and none to share
As far as I know, another submerged below could be drowning
Would I be called greedy to take this much that I possess
Or should I give some back to her, after all, she's human too
Confused about what to do, she hurt me and she wants me dead!
But this complex conscious takes over my head, giving me: the ultimatum
Why, against my will, do I spiral down to check up on her
Wasting my chance of survival for her survival, its suicidal
Wishing a tidal would erupt us to the beach onto the sand
Maybe then she would let go her dagger and hold my hand
The odds against me, the odds against us, who can I trust
She lifted me into the air once; now, I'm liquefied for her lust
Damn this world where we pick one, leave it, for another
Am I what she wants, or is that piece of garbage her lover
As she admits, "it was nothing more than a friendly kiss"
Into "I don't like jealously...leave my sight" bawling a fist
That was so long ago, I always thought she was so fine
She still is, but I can do better, though some times she grabs my mind
And stalls me, pollutes my attempt to live like an oil spill
Which stays my habitat, because I'm too afraid to seek another
Thinking when it happens to her, whose going to be bold enough to save her
Not hoping that her own medicine gets dealt back, but I can't rule out
The possibility, no one was there to catch me, trigger pulled by dignity
And my entire world was blown!
My heart shattered and exploded into a million segments
Been there, had that, I am certain that I can't let it
Be done to her, I must watch out and make sure her path clear
We may have split directions, and she no longer wants me near but
For her to wash up broken, still remains my greatest fear
She's already moved on, but frankly, who's going to be the only one
To lend her an ear when she's left floating alone like me
I know I'm qualified to provide the resuscitation
If we could both make it...