The Ordinance

You live in a cube, feeble I lie in place, I live in a square
You live in a sphere, I need more space, I live in a circle

I stand speechless; your fired rounds affix to my pulse
Given proof that not all minds think the same way
The clamor of your poison darts have penetrated deep
I am weak now, craving oxygen, because I disobeyed
Not that I would mind being chided raw by your smolder
But I feel alienated from fun, constantly looking over my shoulder
And the closer I get to normal, I get grappled right back
I inch my way to what I think is fine, and taste a leash
I know no such idea as what its like to write history
I am merely an actor dancing all over your silly scripts
and get paid jack, infact, it should cost no money for freedom
Forget that, I pay to live, the price: my poor blood
What I exert, is attained in the console of your greed
I would have escaped before, if I wasn't such a coward
You laugh and snicker at my attempts to redeem myself
My frustration breaks the surface, nothing more than the truth
Of how I feel, I'm feeling much to ill for your torture
You’re like a jeweler constantly searching me for flaws
And before I can defend myself, you rub off at my DNA
I’m becoming someone else, you want it this way
You shake me to the point I become numb, can't feel a thing
You reach across your barrier into mine, I'm changing
I'm the doll you made over and now I'm material
You want us to be perfect, so you placed a serial
Number over my heart, I must be wary or it's suicide
But I can't say goodbye, because it would hurt me worse to see you cry
So I deal with it, deal with your hard jealous behavior
Which turns into your violent outbreaks; me: the scapegoat
I've lived by your rules, I'll die by your rules, because I am a fool
You've corrupted my mind to where I can't make decisions for myself
The only way I live is when you’re in your best emotional state
Which happens to be when I'm your punching bag; not too great
So basically, we survive off of me making the tiniest mistake
You shake my world like an Earthquake, I just hesitate
Ro decide, whether or not our relationship is healthy
Remember before all of this, it was in the way you held me
And look at James, he has to witness abuse from his play crib
Oh how I wish sometimes that I could play the plaintiff but this
Is always your theater, your ordinance, your composition
We either do what you want, or I'm beaten into submission
I've endured too many scars to let my actions seek divorce
I just wish my mom's opinions of you would have taken the proper course